Let’s say that you’re starting a big project, one that really matters to you, and you get to choose a team of people to work with to make it happen. Who do you choose?
I have no idea who is on your list but I would bet money on one thing: each of those people is high in emotional intelligence (EQ).
I’m not psychic. I just know that we’re drawn to people who understand themselves and also understand us and who can handle their own emotions and can handle themselves in an emotionally charged situation with others.
EQ isn’t about being more intellectual and less emotional.
It means that we’re able to think about and understand our emotional lives and we have practice at making healthy decisions in the face of our strong feelings. It means that we can understand the emotions of others and we can interact with people based on that understanding rather than just reacting to them.
Working on our EQ makes us more self-aware, more disciplined, more motivated, more empathetic and more trustworthy. Whether we are parents or presidents, as Edwin Friedman used to say, EQ makes us better leaders.
The good news is that we can grow our EQ.
By being intentional and focused, we can learn more about emotions and how they work, we can practice on purpose to understand ourselves and others in real life and we can notice real improvement over time.
At TLJ, we have excellent resources for this work.
First, our podcast series on emotional intelligence is one of our most popular and is a really helpful place to start. Each pod describes an aspect of EQ and how to engage it in our own lives.
Second, we all learn better with a coach. TLJ coaches walk with their clients through the project of growing emotional intelligence, offering insight, accountability, challenge and care.
Third, the next two blog posts and the next podcast will feature Jim Herrington and Mac McCarthy showing us how to develop a culture that fosters emotional intelligence in the places where we lead.
Take a listen, get in touch if you’re ready to do this work with a coach and watch this space.
