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The Overfunctioning Trap: Learning to be responsible FOR me and TO you

With Michael De Ruyter

As leaders, it easy to think that we are responsible for everyone and everything. Life gets easier when we realize that we are responsible for ourselves and to others.

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This is the fifth episode in our series on our book Learning Change: Congregational Transformation Fueled by Personal Renewal. That book came out of our work with what was then known as Ridder Church Renewal and is now known as Churches Learning Change. A group of pastors in that first group came to be dear friends and also contributors to this book, describing their experience with learning to lead in new ways.

Conversation Overview

  • Responsible FOR vs. responsible TO
  • What might it look like to be responsible FOR someone or something?
  • Are we responsible for other people’s feelings?
  • Practice not over-functioning in a leadership role 
  • What are the conditions in which people are most likely to flourish? 

About Michael De Ruyter

Michael has been a Pastor for over 20 years. He attended Calvin College and Calvin Seminary (Grand Rapids, MI) and Fuller Seminary (Pasadena, CA). He is passionate about how people grow and change and how churches can walk along with someone on the journey towards a flourishing and whole life.

Learning Change Series

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Photo by Rémi Walle on Unsplash

Tim McGee