Catching the Conversation
I love the idea that conversation is like a game of catch. Seeing communication this way has helped me level up my conversation skills as a leader and have more...
Creating a Container for Conversation
“We need to talk.” That simple sentence can spark fear and trembling, especially when we disagree and the stakes are high. We know that conversation is the path forward but...
Why I Still Believe (foolishly?) in Dialogue
In these polarized times, is dialogue a quaint throw-back to a less reactive era? Is it a cowardly way for moderates to stay above the fray, to prioritize niceness over...
Can We Talk?
Conversation is my love language. I love it when dialogue goes deep and we’re sitting up and leaning in, trying hard not to interrupt and listening just as hard. I...
How Congregations Grieve
Grief is a universal human experience. While it is true that no two individuals experience loss in exactly the same way, it is equally true that no matter who you...
Leading with Self-Awareness
I grew up in an evangelical community where I was taught to be a moral person, to behave well, and to be socially appropriate. Faith mattered. Scripture mattered. The church...
There is no blame
We watch a lot of sports at our house. By “we,” I mean Craig is a big sports fan and I occasionally look up from my book and ask questions...
Disrupting My Over-functioning Autopilot
I am an oldest child by birth and a pastor by training, which means that I have spent my entire life stepping up and caretaking. I learned early that helping...
Improv, Leadership, Saying Yes, And…
“Just try the class, it will be fun. It's free and if you don’t like it, there is no commitment!” These are the words my friend said to me as...
- Bowen Family Systems
- Change/Transformation
- Communication/Dialogue
- Conflict
- Contemporary Issues
- Deep Change
- Emotional Intelligence
- Emotional Maturity
- Family Systems
- Guiding Principles
There is no blame
We watch a lot of sports at our house. By “we,” I mean Craig is a big sports fan and I occasionally look up from my book and ask questions...
Disrupting My Over-functioning Autopilot
I am an oldest child by birth and a pastor by training, which means that I have spent my entire life stepping up and caretaking. I learned early that helping...
How Understanding Family of Origin Work Helps Me Lead
We hope that this reflection on family life and leadership helps you prepare for your own Thanksgiving celebrations this week.In the new year, we hope you’ll consider joining us to...
Naming the Stars: How to Develop Guiding Principles
Remember, guiding principles are those bright stars that help us navigate our lives; they are our deeply held values, our fundamental commitments, that we reach for when the togetherness forces...
Becoming Whole, Together: How People and Systems Really Change
When I was new in faith and in ministry, I had a straightforward view of personal transformation. I wanted to help people “come to Jesus.” If you confessed Jesus as...
Navigating Off The Map With Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST)
Navigating my Ford Ranger to an unfamiliar destination for the first time, I discovered that the directions hastily scribbled on a scrap of paper, maybe on the back of an...
Family of Origin Work: How to Begin
Because we developed our unique reactive pattern in our family of origin, changing how we relate to that family clears the way for changing [other] relationships. This means staying connected...
How Understanding Family of Origin Work Helps Me Lead
Understanding the concept of sibling position in Bowen theory allows me to maintain leadership responsibility without resorting to shame or blame. Early in my training in Bowen theory, I made...
How Congregations Grieve
Grief is a universal human experience. While it is true that no two individuals experience loss in exactly the same way, it is equally true that no matter who you...
Stuck in Nostalgia
Nostalgia, according to Webster’s dictionary, is a “bittersweet longing for what was; it is the memory of what used to be, what has passed, of time gone by. Nostalgia prioritizes ...
This is your brain on nostalgia
This year, my pastor husband used part of his sabbatical to clean the garage. While sorting through the clutter, he found a stack of boxes labeled “Craig’s keepsakes.” He slowly...
How to change your mind
I really resented my friend. She would ask me to do things with her—fun things, yes, but didn’t she know that I had a job? She asked for small favors,...
When a Team Learns to Feel: The Hidden Work of Building Emotional Intelligence
When I first met The Brookstone Team (not their real name), they were a talented group of leaders in a fast-growing organization. They cared deeply about their mission and each...
Cleaning up our messes as a way of life
Life is messy and we will make messes as we live it. We’re made for big promises that may take a lifetime to keep. Marriage is one example, pursuing excellence...
Becoming Whole, Together: How People and Systems Really Change
When I was new in faith and in ministry, I had a straightforward view of personal transformation. I wanted to help people “come to Jesus.” If you confessed Jesus as...
Unlikely Nomads: Redefining Church for a Missional Future
Twenty years ago, a group of business leaders in Houston came to me with an urgent request. They were committed followers of Jesus, deeply involved in their churches, but they...
Catching the Conversation
I love the idea that conversation is like a game of catch. Seeing communication this way has helped me level up my conversation skills as a leader and have more...
Creating a Container for Conversation
“We need to talk.” That simple sentence can spark fear and trembling, especially when we disagree and the stakes are high. We know that conversation is the path forward but...
Why I Still Believe (foolishly?) in Dialogue
In these polarized times, is dialogue a quaint throw-back to a less reactive era? Is it a cowardly way for moderates to stay above the fray, to prioritize niceness over...
Can We Talk?
Conversation is my love language. I love it when dialogue goes deep and we’re sitting up and leaning in, trying hard not to interrupt and listening just as hard. I...
Improv, Leadership, Saying Yes, And…
“Just try the class, it will be fun. It's free and if you don’t like it, there is no commitment!” These are the words my friend said to me as...
When a Team Learns to Feel: The Hidden Work of Building Emotional Intelligence
When I first met The Brookstone Team (not their real name), they were a talented group of leaders in a fast-growing organization. They cared deeply about their mission and each...
Cleaning up our messes as a way of life
Life is messy and we will make messes as we live it. We’re made for big promises that may take a lifetime to keep. Marriage is one example, pursuing excellence...
Creating a Container for Conversation
“We need to talk.” That simple sentence can spark fear and trembling, especially when we disagree and the stakes are high. We know that conversation is the path forward but...
We Refuse To Be Enemies: Being defined and connected in Israel/Palestine
It was in a small, stuffy room in the sub-basement of the Golden Walls Hotel, just across the road from the old city of Jerusalem. I was with a small...
When Empathy Makes Things Worse
Very few people are actually opposed to empathy. Most of us value empathy and wish we had more of it, for ourselves and for the world. We just have questions....
Becoming Whole, Together: How People and Systems Really Change
When I was new in faith and in ministry, I had a straightforward view of personal transformation. I wanted to help people “come to Jesus.” If you confessed Jesus as...
Unlikely Nomads: Redefining Church for a Missional Future
Twenty years ago, a group of business leaders in Houston came to me with an urgent request. They were committed followers of Jesus, deeply involved in their churches, but they...
More Than Inclusion : Part 2
Ten years ago, my wife Josie and I began the journey we never expected – parenting a child with Down Syndrome. In part 1 of this series, I tell that...
More Than Inclusion – Part 1
Nothing had prepared us for this moment. Every check up confirmed a healthy and normal pregnancy. The labor and delivery went relatively smoothly. But about two hours after we held...
Why You Did The Wrong Thing
We all hope that we will do the right thing when the time comes for us to stand up to a bully or report abuse or take action against injustice...
Unlikely Nomads: Redefining Church for a Missional Future
Twenty years ago, a group of business leaders in Houston came to me with an urgent request. They were committed followers of Jesus, deeply involved in their churches, but they...
Are Christians Quiet Quitting?
Fewer people are going to church and those who do go to church go less often. Churches are having a hard time finding volunteers for their usual programs and people...
Can We Talk?
Conversation is my love language. I love it when dialogue goes deep and we’re sitting up and leaning in, trying hard not to interrupt and listening just as hard. I...
Leading with Self-Awareness
I grew up in an evangelical community where I was taught to be a moral person, to behave well, and to be socially appropriate. Faith mattered. Scripture mattered. The church...
When a Team Learns to Feel: The Hidden Work of Building Emotional Intelligence
When I first met The Brookstone Team (not their real name), they were a talented group of leaders in a fast-growing organization. They cared deeply about their mission and each...
Practical ways to cultivate emotional maturity as a form of discipleship
In my years of coaching pastors and leadership teams, I’ve come to believe that the emotional maturity of a congregation rarely rises above that of its leaders. If leaders are...
When Empathy Makes Things Worse
Very few people are actually opposed to empathy. Most of us value empathy and wish we had more of it, for ourselves and for the world. We just have questions....
Why Staff Culture Matters
I was hired as a youth pastor fresh out of college. Having never worked at a church, I had no idea how to plan curriculum for a year, structure a...
The Enneagram: My Story
Here’s what I tell clients who ask about the Enneagram: It’s completely bogus as a clinical tool. Its validity and reliability are mostly untested and the whole concept of personality...
Why the Enneagram?
As a child, I did not think that I belonged anywhere, not even in my own family. These thoughts caused me to feel awkward and uncomfortable in social settings. I...
Leading with Self-Awareness
I grew up in an evangelical community where I was taught to be a moral person, to behave well, and to be socially appropriate. Faith mattered. Scripture mattered. The church...
There is no blame
We watch a lot of sports at our house. By “we,” I mean Craig is a big sports fan and I occasionally look up from my book and ask questions...
Disrupting My Over-functioning Autopilot
I am an oldest child by birth and a pastor by training, which means that I have spent my entire life stepping up and caretaking. I learned early that helping...
How Understanding Family of Origin Work Helps Me Lead
We hope that this reflection on family life and leadership helps you prepare for your own Thanksgiving celebrations this week.In the new year, we hope you’ll consider joining us to...
Gratitude and Grief: Holding Both at the Holidays
Gratitude and Grief: Holding Both at the Holidays For most of my adult life, I’ve known that the holiday season brings with it a mix of emotions. Gratitude and grief...
Practical ways to cultivate emotional maturity as a form of discipleship
In my years of coaching pastors and leadership teams, I’ve come to believe that the emotional maturity of a congregation rarely rises above that of its leaders. If leaders are...
Naming the Stars: How to Develop Guiding Principles
Remember, guiding principles are those bright stars that help us navigate our lives; they are our deeply held values, our fundamental commitments, that we reach for when the togetherness forces...
Who are you, really? Understanding your guiding principles
Who are you, really? Who are you when no one is watching? What do you do when no one is there to decide for you? What do you value when...
Improv, Leadership, Saying Yes, And…
“Just try the class, it will be fun. It's free and if you don’t like it, there is no commitment!” These are the words my friend said to me as...
When Empathy Makes Things Worse
Very few people are actually opposed to empathy. Most of us value empathy and wish we had more of it, for ourselves and for the world. We just have questions....
Hospitality: Becoming a Person who Welcomes
In the last podcast, we explored the guiding principle of hospitality with writer and spiritual director Laura Baghdassarian Murray. We hope you enjoy this excerpt from her upcoming book, Becoming...
Naming the Stars: How to Develop Guiding Principles
Remember, guiding principles are those bright stars that help us navigate our lives; they are our deeply held values, our fundamental commitments, that we reach for when the togetherness forces...
How Love Makes Us Strong
In the podcast this week, we explored the guiding principle of resilience with writer and spiritual director Rusty McKie. We hope you enjoy this excerpt from his book, The Art...
Integrity: Living Into Our Design
All of us want to be people of integrity. Unfortunately, sometimes the word "integrity" can be so broad that it's meaningless, or so specific that it comes with heavy baggage....
Who are you, really? Understanding your guiding principles
Who are you, really? Who are you when no one is watching? What do you do when no one is there to decide for you? What do you value when...
Stress and Rescue
Is there a way to break free from autopilot addictions that threaten to drown us? From a spiritual perspective, addiction is an experience we all share. Being caught in the...
Leadership isn't a journey for one.
Escape the chaos. Transform yourself. Lead well.
