- December 3, 2025Change/Transformation, Organizational Culture
This is your brain on nostalgia
This year, my pastor husband used part of his sabbatical to clean the garage. While sorting through the clutter, he found a stack of boxes labeled “Craig’s keepsakes.” He slowly...
- November 26, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Emotional Maturity, Leadership
How Understanding Family of Origin Work Helps Me Lead
We hope that this reflection on family life and leadership helps you prepare for your own Thanksgiving celebrations this week.In the new year, we hope you’ll consider joining us to...
- November 20, 2025Change/Transformation, Leadership, Mental Models
How to change your mind
I really resented my friend. She would ask me to do things with her—fun things, yes, but didn’t she know that I had a job? She asked for small favors,...
- November 12, 2025Emotional Maturity, Self-care
Gratitude and Grief: Holding Both at the Holidays
Gratitude and Grief: Holding Both at the Holidays For most of my adult life, I’ve known that the holiday season brings with it a mix of emotions. Gratitude and grief...
- November 6, 2025Uncategorized
Gratitude When Things Change
We have news to share . . . This news is good news, even though it represents a significant change at TLJ. I’ll let Jim speak for himself here: Dear...
- October 29, 2025Change/Transformation, Communication/Dialogue, Emotional Intelligence
When a Team Learns to Feel: The Hidden Work of Building Emotional Intelligence
When I first met The Brookstone Team (not their real name), they were a talented group of leaders in a fast-growing organization. They cared deeply about their mission and each...
- October 22, 2025Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Maturity, Leadership
Practical ways to cultivate emotional maturity as a form of discipleship
In my years of coaching pastors and leadership teams, I’ve come to believe that the emotional maturity of a congregation rarely rises above that of its leaders. If leaders are...
- October 15, 2025Leadership, Organizational Culture
EQ, Leadership and You
Let’s say that you’re starting a big project, one that really matters to you, and you get to choose a team of people to work with to make it happen....
- October 10, 2025Contemporary Issues, Emotional Intelligence, Guiding Principles
When Empathy Makes Things Worse
Very few people are actually opposed to empathy. Most of us value empathy and wish we had more of it, for ourselves and for the world. We just have questions....
- October 1, 2025Guiding Principles, Leadership, Organizational Culture
Hospitality: Becoming a Person who Welcomes
In the last podcast, we explored the guiding principle of hospitality with writer and spiritual director Laura Baghdassarian Murray. We hope you enjoy this excerpt from her upcoming book, Becoming...
- Bowen Family Systems
- Change/Transformation
- Communication/Dialogue
- Conflict
- Contemporary Issues
- Deep Change
- Emotional Intelligence
- Emotional Maturity
- Family Systems
- Guiding Principles
- November 26, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Emotional Maturity, Leadership
How Understanding Family of Origin Work Helps Me Lead
We hope that this reflection on family life and leadership helps you prepare for your own Thanksgiving celebrations this week.In the new year, we hope you’ll consider joining us to...
- September 25, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Emotional Maturity, Guiding Principles
Naming the Stars: How to Develop Guiding Principles
Remember, guiding principles are those bright stars that help us navigate our lives; they are our deeply held values, our fundamental commitments, that we reach for when the togetherness forces...
- August 20, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Emotional Maturity
Becoming Whole, Together: How People and Systems Really Change
When I was new in faith and in ministry, I had a straightforward view of personal transformation. I wanted to help people “come to Jesus.” If you confessed Jesus as...
- May 14, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Leadership
Navigating Off The Map With Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST)
Navigating my Ford Ranger to an unfamiliar destination for the first time, I discovered that the directions hastily scribbled on a scrap of paper, maybe on the back of an...
- April 30, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Change/Transformation, Emotional Maturity
Family of Origin Work: How to Begin
Because we developed our unique reactive pattern in our family of origin, changing how we relate to that family clears the way for changing [other] relationships. This means staying connected...
- April 23, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Emotional Maturity, Leadership
How Understanding Family of Origin Work Helps Me Lead
Understanding the concept of sibling position in Bowen theory allows me to maintain leadership responsibility without resorting to shame or blame. Early in my training in Bowen theory, I made...
- April 6, 2021Bowen Family Systems
How Bowen Theory Helps Me Lead Without Resorting to Shame or Blame
Understanding the concept of sibling position in Bowen Theory allows me to maintain leadership responsibility without resorting to shame or blame. Early in my training in Bowen Theory I made...
- February 8, 2021Bowen Family Systems
Bowen Theory’s Absolutely Unique Take on Leadership
Want to know what convinced me that Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) provides a powerful resource for leaders of all sorts? When our family embarked on the journey of fostering...
- December 3, 2025Change/Transformation, Organizational Culture
This is your brain on nostalgia
This year, my pastor husband used part of his sabbatical to clean the garage. While sorting through the clutter, he found a stack of boxes labeled “Craig’s keepsakes.” He slowly...
- November 20, 2025Change/Transformation, Leadership, Mental Models
How to change your mind
I really resented my friend. She would ask me to do things with her—fun things, yes, but didn’t she know that I had a job? She asked for small favors,...
- October 29, 2025Change/Transformation, Communication/Dialogue, Emotional Intelligence
When a Team Learns to Feel: The Hidden Work of Building Emotional Intelligence
When I first met The Brookstone Team (not their real name), they were a talented group of leaders in a fast-growing organization. They cared deeply about their mission and each...
- August 27, 2025Change/Transformation, Communication/Dialogue, Emotional Maturity
Cleaning up our messes as a way of life
Life is messy and we will make messes as we live it. We’re made for big promises that may take a lifetime to keep. Marriage is one example, pursuing excellence...
- August 20, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Emotional Maturity
Becoming Whole, Together: How People and Systems Really Change
When I was new in faith and in ministry, I had a straightforward view of personal transformation. I wanted to help people “come to Jesus.” If you confessed Jesus as...
- August 6, 2025Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Mission and Vision
Unlikely Nomads: Redefining Church for a Missional Future
Twenty years ago, a group of business leaders in Houston came to me with an urgent request. They were committed followers of Jesus, deeply involved in their churches, but they...
- July 30, 2025Change/Transformation, Emotional Maturity, Mental Models
Learning From My Child: Being Different and Wonderfully Made
“ADHD: it’s not a disability, it’s a different ability” – so reads the t-shirt my child has worn so frequently the text is barely visible and the shirt no longer...
- July 23, 2025Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Mental Models
More Than Inclusion : Part 2
Ten years ago, my wife Josie and I began the journey we never expected – parenting a child with Down Syndrome. In part 1 of this series, I tell that...
- October 29, 2025Change/Transformation, Communication/Dialogue, Emotional Intelligence
When a Team Learns to Feel: The Hidden Work of Building Emotional Intelligence
When I first met The Brookstone Team (not their real name), they were a talented group of leaders in a fast-growing organization. They cared deeply about their mission and each...
- August 27, 2025Change/Transformation, Communication/Dialogue, Emotional Maturity
Cleaning up our messes as a way of life
Life is messy and we will make messes as we live it. We’re made for big promises that may take a lifetime to keep. Marriage is one example, pursuing excellence...
- September 3, 2019Conflict, Contemporary Issues
We Refuse To Be Enemies: Being defined and connected in Israel/Palestine
It was in a small, stuffy room in the sub-basement of the Golden Walls Hotel, just across the road from the old city of Jerusalem. I was with a small...
- October 10, 2025Contemporary Issues, Emotional Intelligence, Guiding Principles
When Empathy Makes Things Worse
Very few people are actually opposed to empathy. Most of us value empathy and wish we had more of it, for ourselves and for the world. We just have questions....
- August 20, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Emotional Maturity
Becoming Whole, Together: How People and Systems Really Change
When I was new in faith and in ministry, I had a straightforward view of personal transformation. I wanted to help people “come to Jesus.” If you confessed Jesus as...
- August 6, 2025Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Mission and Vision
Unlikely Nomads: Redefining Church for a Missional Future
Twenty years ago, a group of business leaders in Houston came to me with an urgent request. They were committed followers of Jesus, deeply involved in their churches, but they...
- July 23, 2025Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Mental Models
More Than Inclusion : Part 2
Ten years ago, my wife Josie and I began the journey we never expected – parenting a child with Down Syndrome. In part 1 of this series, I tell that...
- July 16, 2025Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Mental Models
More Than Inclusion – Part 1
Nothing had prepared us for this moment. Every check up confirmed a healthy and normal pregnancy. The labor and delivery went relatively smoothly. But about two hours after we held...
- July 9, 2025Contemporary Issues, Guiding Principles, Power and Authority
Why You Did The Wrong Thing
We all hope that we will do the right thing when the time comes for us to stand up to a bully or report abuse or take action against injustice...
- June 11, 2025Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Mission and Vision
Unlikely Nomads: Redefining Church for a Missional Future
Twenty years ago, a group of business leaders in Houston came to me with an urgent request. They were committed followers of Jesus, deeply involved in their churches, but they...
- September 15, 2022Contemporary Issues
Are Christians Quiet Quitting?
Fewer people are going to church and those who do go to church go less often. Churches are having a hard time finding volunteers for their usual programs and people...
- October 29, 2025Change/Transformation, Communication/Dialogue, Emotional Intelligence
When a Team Learns to Feel: The Hidden Work of Building Emotional Intelligence
When I first met The Brookstone Team (not their real name), they were a talented group of leaders in a fast-growing organization. They cared deeply about their mission and each...
- October 22, 2025Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Maturity, Leadership
Practical ways to cultivate emotional maturity as a form of discipleship
In my years of coaching pastors and leadership teams, I’ve come to believe that the emotional maturity of a congregation rarely rises above that of its leaders. If leaders are...
- October 10, 2025Contemporary Issues, Emotional Intelligence, Guiding Principles
When Empathy Makes Things Worse
Very few people are actually opposed to empathy. Most of us value empathy and wish we had more of it, for ourselves and for the world. We just have questions....
- July 2, 2025Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Mission and Vision, Organizational Culture
Why Staff Culture Matters
I was hired as a youth pastor fresh out of college. Having never worked at a church, I had no idea how to plan curriculum for a year, structure a...
- May 28, 2025Change/Transformation, Emotional Intelligence
The Enneagram: My Story
Here’s what I tell clients who ask about the Enneagram: It’s completely bogus as a clinical tool. Its validity and reliability are mostly untested and the whole concept of personality...
- May 21, 2025Change/Transformation, Emotional Intelligence
Why the Enneagram?
As a child, I did not think that I belonged anywhere, not even in my own family. These thoughts caused me to feel awkward and uncomfortable in social settings. I...
- April 15, 2025Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Power and Authority
Building Trust and Risking Trust in Adaptive Change
Building Trust and Risking Trust in Adaptive Change Leading adaptive change in a church or any other organization requires a foundation of trust. As a leader builds trust, people grant...
- March 28, 2025Emotional Intelligence, Organizational Culture
The Complexity of Trust
When trust is low, everything is hard. As trust erodes, communication breaks down and collaboration is miserable. That’s why it makes sense that we intentionally nurture trust on our teams...
- November 26, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Emotional Maturity, Leadership
How Understanding Family of Origin Work Helps Me Lead
We hope that this reflection on family life and leadership helps you prepare for your own Thanksgiving celebrations this week.In the new year, we hope you’ll consider joining us to...
- November 12, 2025Emotional Maturity, Self-care
Gratitude and Grief: Holding Both at the Holidays
Gratitude and Grief: Holding Both at the Holidays For most of my adult life, I’ve known that the holiday season brings with it a mix of emotions. Gratitude and grief...
- October 22, 2025Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Maturity, Leadership
Practical ways to cultivate emotional maturity as a form of discipleship
In my years of coaching pastors and leadership teams, I’ve come to believe that the emotional maturity of a congregation rarely rises above that of its leaders. If leaders are...
- September 25, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Emotional Maturity, Guiding Principles
Naming the Stars: How to Develop Guiding Principles
Remember, guiding principles are those bright stars that help us navigate our lives; they are our deeply held values, our fundamental commitments, that we reach for when the togetherness forces...
- September 3, 2025Emotional Maturity, Guiding Principles, Mental Models
Who are you, really? Understanding your guiding principles
Who are you, really? Who are you when no one is watching? What do you do when no one is there to decide for you? What do you value when...
- August 27, 2025Change/Transformation, Communication/Dialogue, Emotional Maturity
Cleaning up our messes as a way of life
Life is messy and we will make messes as we live it. We’re made for big promises that may take a lifetime to keep. Marriage is one example, pursuing excellence...
- August 20, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Change/Transformation, Contemporary Issues, Emotional Maturity
Becoming Whole, Together: How People and Systems Really Change
When I was new in faith and in ministry, I had a straightforward view of personal transformation. I wanted to help people “come to Jesus.” If you confessed Jesus as...
- August 13, 2025Emotional Maturity, Guiding Principles, Leadership
Stress and Rescue
Is there a way to break free from autopilot addictions that threaten to drown us? From a spiritual perspective, addiction is an experience we all share. Being caught in the...
- October 10, 2025Contemporary Issues, Emotional Intelligence, Guiding Principles
When Empathy Makes Things Worse
Very few people are actually opposed to empathy. Most of us value empathy and wish we had more of it, for ourselves and for the world. We just have questions....
- October 1, 2025Guiding Principles, Leadership, Organizational Culture
Hospitality: Becoming a Person who Welcomes
In the last podcast, we explored the guiding principle of hospitality with writer and spiritual director Laura Baghdassarian Murray. We hope you enjoy this excerpt from her upcoming book, Becoming...
- September 25, 2025Bowen Family Systems, Emotional Maturity, Guiding Principles
Naming the Stars: How to Develop Guiding Principles
Remember, guiding principles are those bright stars that help us navigate our lives; they are our deeply held values, our fundamental commitments, that we reach for when the togetherness forces...
- September 17, 2025Guiding Principles, Self-care
How Love Makes Us Strong
In the podcast this week, we explored the guiding principle of resilience with writer and spiritual director Rusty McKie. We hope you enjoy this excerpt from his book, The Art...
- September 10, 2025Guiding Principles, Leadership, Mission and Vision
Integrity: Living Into Our Design
All of us want to be people of integrity. Unfortunately, sometimes the word "integrity" can be so broad that it's meaningless, or so specific that it comes with heavy baggage....
- September 3, 2025Emotional Maturity, Guiding Principles, Mental Models
Who are you, really? Understanding your guiding principles
Who are you, really? Who are you when no one is watching? What do you do when no one is there to decide for you? What do you value when...
- August 13, 2025Emotional Maturity, Guiding Principles, Leadership
Stress and Rescue
Is there a way to break free from autopilot addictions that threaten to drown us? From a spiritual perspective, addiction is an experience we all share. Being caught in the...
- July 9, 2025Contemporary Issues, Guiding Principles, Power and Authority
Why You Did The Wrong Thing
We all hope that we will do the right thing when the time comes for us to stand up to a bully or report abuse or take action against injustice...
Leadership isn't a journey for one.
Escape the chaos. Transform yourself. Lead well.
